I've known for quite some time that my life's been different since a few years ago. But I've just recently realized that it's affected me in many more ways then I at first though! Not only has my basic personality changed – and aged too much. But I've also percieved that I've become less imune to emotion – or to be more exact – less imune to the wrong emotions and more vulnurable to the (opositly) wrong emotions.

I'm sure she probably had no intent to hurt me (this bad) – I agree with Socrates on the matter of (in)justice being relative and that the injust person would probably (or at least hopefully) not have done the "wrong" if she really understood that it was bad.

Slowly I've started to rediscover old friends and find new ones as well. Which has given me a bit of the old boost back. I've realized again that my firends-base is – and should be – very diverse and split up. The nature of my persona is such that I'm interested into various activites and other matter which most people don't bind together – so I don't know many people which share all of my interests, but mostly just share one or two at the same time. Which makes everything a bit more complicated, but works just as well. :]

So, amongst other things, I think I've regained my taste in art of any form – be it literature, films, other visual forms, music or whatever. Which, I have to say, is rather reassuring, since I never was the type to like the ultra-light form of entertainment (id est getting drunk, pop music, holywood films, etc.). I've recently noticed that, when I went with a very dear friend of mine to the open-air film festival on the Ljubljana Castle and the "Eternal Light of the Spotless Mind" was ok, but left me wanting.

So, after I've just finished reading Terry Pratchett and Jules Verne – which I quite enjoy, btw – I've decided it was time to start someting heavier again. So, I've dusted off an old Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche and hope to find some pleasure in his Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

Maybe that's just the kick I need to get my mind sorted out again. I need to regain my ability to concentrate even on more difficult matters for a longer period of time and switching between completely different matters without causing any confusion.

Anyway, I feel rather positive about it, so I think, I'll make it. :D

P.S. Oh, and don't worry, I don't intend to use this blog mainly for self-help, I've not interest in that nor do I think it appropriate. It just happened to be a moment I though would fit.

Related Posts